


Play on (and on, and on, and on)

by highboys (orphan_account)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen, Lists, M/M, Video & Computer Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-18
Updated: 2012-01-18
Packaged: 2017-10-29 18:11:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/322702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/highboys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some games they should have blamed Japan for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Play on (and on, and on, and on)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Measured](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Measured/gifts).



> For maplesandroses' 2011 gift-a-thon prompt #40.

  
**the one with the stupid mushrooms and ugly jumpsuits**

  
The first coherent thought that Matthew had after the acid trip disguised as a children's game known as Mario was that his fingers hurt from the button mashing. The second was that Alfred would probably die from carpal tunnel syndrome, then get resurrected, then do the whole cycle all over again out of some masochistic need (or a lack of much needed survival skills) to finish every damn game in the universe, no matter how embarrassing(ly difficult) or retarded it was.

Kind of like Mario.

"I suppose that makes you Luigi?" Francis said, ruffling the top of Matthew's head. Matthew would bat his hands away if only he could twitch his fingers.

"How does he _do that_ ," said Alfred, seriously creeped out. "I can't read your brain and he can? Ooh, why don't you try reading mine, huh?"

"Impossible," said Francis, appearing to size up Alfred's mental capacities. He sighed and shrugged. "Your uncharted territories tend to turn out to be either a wilderness or a desert."

"You're just jealous that I got through that level with the Koopas," said Alfred, cheerfully.

"I hate you," said Matthew, fervently. Seriously, his _hands_. Someone should hold a funeral for them tomorrow.

"I love you too, bro," said Alfred. "I love you lots whenever I totally _kick your ass_."

" _So much_ ," Matthew insisted.

  
 **the one with the island and the not-zombies**

  
_3:34 AM_

"MATT," Alfred's voice wailed from the answering machine. Matthew made a soft, unhappy noise, and Francis smoothed down his hair.

"Ignore him," crooned Francis. "He has to give up soon, right?" Never mind that Alfred had been calling since 10:30.

"Doesn't he ever sleep," whimpered Matthew.

"He'll get tired eventually," said Francis, sounding far more patient than he ever had.

"I hope so," said Matthew, shutting his eyes and pretending he was invisible. It didn't work. Hope was such a fragile thing.

_3:45 AM_

"I'm dying. I'm dying and I haven't made it past the first half. HOW DO YOU DO IT."

_4:01 AM_

"YOU CAN'T IGNORE ME FOREVER, BRO."

_4:12 AM_

"Seriously, I don't get this game, it's like Kiku made it just to fuck with me or something."

_4:50 AM_

"You know what? I'll just go ahead and call Ivan and see if--"

"I'll be right over," said Matthew, gritting his teeth.

(Later:

"How can you be good at this?" Alfred moaned into his throw pillow. "No one's better than me at survival horror."

"I've had a lot of practice," said Matthew, throwing him a dirty look, but by then Alfred had started to ignore him.

"Great," said Alfred, after Matthew inflitrated the nest, "move over so I can save the day!"

" _Hate_ ," said Matthew, with feeling.)

_23:31_

"DUDE, I'M STUCK AGAIN, HELP ME O--"

Matthew pulled the plug.

  
 **the one with the lovecraftian breeding nightmare**

  
When Alfred held up his latest acquisition from Kiku, Matthew should have known better than to let Francis look at the cover.

"Good story, good art, easy playthrough," said Alfred. "I'd play it but you know I hate dating sims."

"Hmm," said Francis, contemplating the female protagonist. "I _do_ have a thing for white negligees."

"Plus it's an H-game," said Alfred. "Unless you guys wanna go for another run on Harvest Moon?"

" _No_ ," said Matthew. He always did get emotional whenever his livestock died.

Fifteen minutes later, Francis was skimming through the game's script with Alfred looking suspiciously eager. A quick scan of the wikipedia entry for the game gave Matthew an idea of why.

"I like this game better," said Francis. "It holds mass appeal and has aesthetically pleasing visuals."

"Um, no," said Matthew. "You should really stop right now unless you want to be scarred for life." Or, at least, that was what he _would_ have said if Alfred hadn't started suffocating him with his jacket.

"You should play through until the end," said Alfred, showing teeth when he grinned.

Suffice to say, Francis couldn't look at blobs of jelly without blanching for the rest of the month. And if there was a sudden drop in the birthrate, then Matthew knew why.

  
 **the one where the protagonist gets all the guys (and girls)**

  
Alfred and Matthew were greeted by the crescendo of a bubblegum pop theme song when they opened the front door. At first, Matthew had instinctively tightened his grip on the grocery bags, ready to fling the cans of beer at possible thieves, rapists or mass murderers, but Alfred either had less survival instincts or more guts (possibly a mixture of that, with a healthy dose of lack of common sense) because he made his way to the living room without even bothering to bring a gun.

Antonio, apparently the culprit of the loud disturbance, was lounging around the sofa, toying with the controls of Matthew's stereo system. Beside him, Elizabeta was pulling at Gilbert's hair and yelling about how he kept _giving the wrong directions, you idiot, stop fucking around and getting in the way of true 2D love_ , with Gilbert howling incriminations against Elizabeta's heritage and pedigree, not necessarily in chronological order. In front of the LCD screen, Francis was happily playing a video game of sorts. Matthew couldn't really tell, because it looked less like a traditional video game and more like a diary filled with pink hearts, attractive characters, and a conspicuous lack of health points.

"Whoa, are you guys getting converted to the awesome side too?" Alfred asked, turning up the volume of the stereo manually, much to Antonio's delight and Matthew's woe. Francis didn't even bother to look at Alfred after blowing a kiss at Matthew, content on debating the options afforded him on the screen. Matthew squinted at the kanji, and then wished he never translated it.

"Did you just choose to grope that teacher?" Matthew's voice was faintly disturbed and not at all approving. "That teacher, who, by the way, bears a striking resemblance to England?"

"Yes," purred Francis. "It's so fun to see how easily they cave to my charm. No one is immune." He sounded strangely proud about that, despite the implications it had.

"Kiku brought over a game," said Antonio, cheerfully.

"Thankfully, it is conspicuously absent of cannibalism," said Francis, grimacing at the _last_ time. "He assured me this was more to my tastes."

"But then he basically told Francis that he couldn't get to 100% completion anyhow," said Antonio, shrugging. "I think Francis is just peeved at the insult to his reputation." The unspoken _philandering, licentious whore_ went unspoken, but it was kind of understood.

"For a really nice guy, he could be kind of a bitch," muttered Gilbert.

"What are _you_ doing here, Gil?" Alfred said, slinging an arm around his shoulder. "I thought you were too cool for gaming after I beat you at that last PVP battle?"

"I'm just here for the free porn," said Gilbert, defensively. "And you didn't beat me, the server just got cut off!"

"You _pervert_ ," said Elizabeta, sounding aghast.

"Don't look at _me_ like that, _hypocrite_."

"I'm here for the storyline and the characterization," said Elizabeta, sniffing. The porn was just an added bonus. No one needed to know that.

"Oh," said Antonio, cocking his head to the side. "I didn't know you could use a stethoscope for _that_."

Matthew covered his face with his hands. Soon, he reminded himself mentally, he really had to talk to find Alfred better influences. That, or tighten import controls and lobby for appropriate legislation. The latter sounded much easier.

"Ah," said Elizabeta, sighing happily. "I love high quality graphics and uncensored shots."

"You're right," said Alfred, narrowing his eyes speculatively. "That _does_ look like Iggy."

Soon.

  



End file.
